The Difference Between Miles and his Siblings

I didn't notice that Miles was different until 18 months old when he stopped talking he few words and would just scream night and day, happy and sad, excited, and angry. That was until I was pregnant with Mile's little brother M. When I was pregnant with Miles, I would down water like mad and we found out that I had gestational diabetes. I failed right off the bat of the three hours with him. It was so bad that they weren't sure if I should do the three hours. I struggled with it so badly. I craved the things i couldn't have. I would just cry my eyes out on the bed because I wanted...pasta. When he would move he would move like mad. All the time. Which was just like his big sister. Then, my blood pressure started having problems, then protein was found, then my red blood cells kept dropping, then fluids kept dropping. We almost delivered Miles at 35 weeks which was a week earlier then his sister. Nope, things changed for the better for two more weeks. When I went in for my c-section, he was moving around like mad. It was like he knew it was his time to enter the world. He didn't want to come out the way that he was suppose to...he made eye contact with the doctor right away...which the doctor said has never happened before. He had to be in NICU for 12 hrs because his blood sugars were too low. All because I couldn't eat for 12 hrs before having him. He nursed right off the bat and was a happy as a claim.

Then...he was yellow. I mean not your normal yellow. No...he was extremely yellow baby. We had his bilirubin tested all the time and they were fine..for three months this kid was yellow. Finally, the pedi sent us to a Children's Hospital to get him looked at by a GI specialist. Found out that Miles had an enzyme missing from his liver. Had to give him extra fiber once a day in his milk. Finally, he was normal color.

Miles never cooed, never blew spit bubbles, barely smiled as a baby, never laughed, never really repeated you. It didn't bother me because hey he's a boy, boys are not like that. He finally spoke at a year old the normal mama, dada, baba stuff. Then he spoke strange words like yellow, red, blue at a year old that was amazing. Then at 18 months it just stopped. He stopped sleeping good and would just scream all night long. It was like a switch flipped. I was working with autistic kids at this time and started to see so many similarties...so started to make calls. Got a referrel to three different hospitals. All three said they had two year waiting list... Miles started to be agressive. Biting became the worst thing alive. Leaving scars on his sister. She would cry in another part of the house and he would run and hunt her down to attack. Finally, got therapy going and things were getting better slowly.

Miles's little Brother M was born. M is different from the get go. M's pregnancy was different. I had gestational diabetes but only had my morning numbers having problems. He was born at 39 weeks via c-section completely healthy nursing right off. M started to coo and it dawned on me...never heard it from Miles. M started started blewing spit bubbles, Miles never did that until now learning it from brother. M smiles all the time, M laughs all the time, m tries to repeat, M says mama, dada, baba at 9 months old.

Watching M make all these milestones has made me realize signs were there. Signs were there that Miles wasn't normal. It's hard to see the difference between them and I am sure so many will keep happening as they get older.

Saying Goodbye is Hard

So on Monday, we had to say goodbye to our Infant Toddler therapist for Miles. When she arrived the first time we met her when knew she would make a perfect fit for our families. Not only was she helping Miles but she was helping the rest of us understand a little more about him.

When Miles was close to two years old, he was at the point of not speaking at all but screaming on top of his lungs 24/7. He would scream when he was happy, sad, angry, excited, anxious and all in between. Anytime, big sister would cry or whine he would charge after her no matter where she was in the house and bite her. We would spend most of the day in an all out struggle with him to eat, sleep, and even to not have a meltdown. His meltdowns were never shorter then two hours and by that point we were so beaten up by him it would cause us to be in tears. So when Patti arrived it was a godsend.

She helped us right off the bat to give us tips to get him to stop biting. As his bites were leaving scars and to show us how to get him to stop kicking me in the stomach (I was pregnant with #3). The biting went away for the most part. He fell in love with her that first day. She helped us with meal times and bed times.

She gave us so many good resources that helped us understand him. It's hard for a parent to ask for help but it was needed. She knew when it was time to pull in a speech therapist and OT therapist. She loved Miles and we always made sure to work with her each week. All three of my kids loved her and she has given my daughter tips in dealing with her brother.

So Monday, it was hard to say goodbye. Goodbye to that part of our lives that we had. Now, we don't have any therapies coming to the house and that in itself is hard. We don't get those tips anymore and those little helps to keep us going.

I have to say, I am so blessed to have Infant Toddler Services rush to get him evaluated for their program. It was hard to hear that there was a two year waiting list from every hospital in KS to evaluate him when we felt like our lives were falling apart. Infant Toddler gave us hope and send us our savior Patti at the time we needed the the most.

Next Chapter of ours lives is IEPs...

A week from Hell

This week for some reason is worse then everything we have been through. Not sure if it's because of illness or getting used to his new schedule of going back to school after spring break. So...this week has been extremely rough on me, Miles, and his siblings. We have had a lot of major meltdowns and things that he has never done before do.

On Sunday, we had a hard time getting out the door to go to church. We knew it was only going to be sacrament because Miles couldn't go to nursery with his cold. So, here I was getting the kids ready. Miles flipped out because he did not want to wear his nice shirt for Easter and church. He screamed and cried in the hallway during sacrament. We finally just said screw it we were going home after thirty minutes of being there.

On Monday, Miles had an okay day. We had normal meltdowns after school and it was a pretty good day.

Tuesday: We had more meltdowns then normal but nothing to bad.

Wednesday: Is when all hell broke loose. Miles had meltdown after meltdown. Wanted to fight and destroy everything in the house. At one point I took out a fold up rocking chair and finally got him rocking in it and calming down or so I thought. I was busy nursing the baby when all of sudden Miles picked up my water bottle. Nothing new, he is addicted to drinking water. I had just filled it up too so it was cold. When he threw it at me and the baby. Nothing happened before hand to cause this that I can think of. Anyways, so I had a choice protect the baby or protect my face. I of course protected the baby from the water bottle. The water bottle then slammed into my mouth which caused me to bite through my lip. I was in shock and was able to safely put the baby down somewhere. I then put Miles into his room and held his door shut. I was at this point sobbing myself while Miles screamed and slammed his body against the door. I then felt my lip and realized blood was poring out the wound. So I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up to find my lip.

Even now my lip is swollen and it hurts to eat. I couldn't wait till my husband came home and was able to be there. 

Thursday: I was fighting battles all day with him. It felt like, and when my mom arrived home. It was even worse. He was throwing chairs at everyone and trying to throw his kids table. Finally, my mom had to restrain him with her legs and he fell asleep at six pm. Do I regret him going to sleep early...nope as his Dad wouldn't be there to back me up until after bedtime. 

Today: So far he decided to punch his baby brother, punch his sister, punch me all with toys. Also thrown many toys at me because his sister was sitting somewhere where he just decided to sit. 

This week has been the worse in a long time. I am actually sitting here crying because right now I dread for his Grandma bringing him and his sister home. I feel terrible feeling that way but I need a break. I don't always get a break when others come home and it's hard. I am always on the go and always watching like a hawk to see what is going to happen next. Though, yesterday good news. I was able to finish the paperwork for Children's so it's off towards there. Closer to getting some much needed help. 

Right now any help to figure out his triggers and how to help is is rewarded. 

Kendra