This is the Last Week

Miles had a great couple of days. We have been able to get outside and enjoy the nice weather. He's been a pretty happy kid with minor meltdowns or no meltdowns at all. Which makes me very grateful. We also have been seeing major improvements in him. I like to think that I have done something to increase these improvements. But, we all know the truth he just figured them out. Like one of his major improvements is to give us warning when he's getting upset. Such has he strains his body tight from feet to hands in fist form and growls at you. We usually try to fix what ever is bothering him before he starts flipping out. It's been working pretty well, but it's not a 100%. Then when he doesn't want to do something he sighs really loud and rolls his eyes. My husband was getting upset over it and here I was silently cheering because he was forcing his mood not acting out his mood by screaming or hitting.  I mean with our daughter we would be upset because it's rude but for him it's not rude...at all we rather he does that.

So also this past week, we put up a swing set. Miles was so happy and it gives him a new release for his energy. So it's been nice to be able to go out back and let him run and play. I am hoping to get more outside things for the kids so we can spend a lot of time outside. With him. But then we found new consequences...his mood takes a massive turn in the evening. The question remains..is it from being tired or is it from allergies. Part of me doesn't think it's the being worn out because when Miles is tired he is actually...in a better mood. I swear the less sleep this kid gets the less behaviors we have at home. Since we stopped forcing naps things have gotten a lot better. He's a weird kid. So, next is to figure out what kind of allergies he has...because no way do I want to give this kid benedryll every single day. Miles on it is crazy....he screams and runs around the house until it wears off.

So it looks like another appointment will be added to our list to get for Miles. I swear his appointment list is getting really long and keeping us busy.

Another epiphany moment is after we ate pizza for dinner. All night he was up coughing like crazy and drinking like mad. We eat pizza once a week at most and every time he is coughing all night long. So, another thing to get looked at for him is Acid Reflex. This kid is an awesome kid and we love him..we just need to take it one day at time.

Yesterday, it felt like everything changed for the worse with him. All of our progress went out the window. It was storming and we were getting nasty storms later that night. The closer the storms were getting the worse Miles got. At one point he was kicking me over and over again in my lower back, he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled hard, he punched me millions of time in the back of my head. I just sat there, because I knew if I reacted or blocked him he would go after his sister or worse his baby brother. So, I sat there taking it and crying. It hurts that I can't do anything to help him. I knew the storms were bothering him and tried to distract him with movies. He was in that mood and it was hard to get him out of it. By the time my mom and Stephen arrived. I was done...I just wanted to stay away from him and be alone.

Today, is heading that way as well. It's hard on these days to get anything done because he wants to take it out on people. I just don't know...

42 Days! 

Saying Goodbye is Hard

So on Monday, we had to say goodbye to our Infant Toddler therapist for Miles. When she arrived the first time we met her when knew she would make a perfect fit for our families. Not only was she helping Miles but she was helping the rest of us understand a little more about him.

When Miles was close to two years old, he was at the point of not speaking at all but screaming on top of his lungs 24/7. He would scream when he was happy, sad, angry, excited, anxious and all in between. Anytime, big sister would cry or whine he would charge after her no matter where she was in the house and bite her. We would spend most of the day in an all out struggle with him to eat, sleep, and even to not have a meltdown. His meltdowns were never shorter then two hours and by that point we were so beaten up by him it would cause us to be in tears. So when Patti arrived it was a godsend.

She helped us right off the bat to give us tips to get him to stop biting. As his bites were leaving scars and to show us how to get him to stop kicking me in the stomach (I was pregnant with #3). The biting went away for the most part. He fell in love with her that first day. She helped us with meal times and bed times.

She gave us so many good resources that helped us understand him. It's hard for a parent to ask for help but it was needed. She knew when it was time to pull in a speech therapist and OT therapist. She loved Miles and we always made sure to work with her each week. All three of my kids loved her and she has given my daughter tips in dealing with her brother.

So Monday, it was hard to say goodbye. Goodbye to that part of our lives that we had. Now, we don't have any therapies coming to the house and that in itself is hard. We don't get those tips anymore and those little helps to keep us going.

I have to say, I am so blessed to have Infant Toddler Services rush to get him evaluated for their program. It was hard to hear that there was a two year waiting list from every hospital in KS to evaluate him when we felt like our lives were falling apart. Infant Toddler gave us hope and send us our savior Patti at the time we needed the the most.

Next Chapter of ours lives is IEPs...

A week from Hell

This week for some reason is worse then everything we have been through. Not sure if it's because of illness or getting used to his new schedule of going back to school after spring break. So...this week has been extremely rough on me, Miles, and his siblings. We have had a lot of major meltdowns and things that he has never done before do.

On Sunday, we had a hard time getting out the door to go to church. We knew it was only going to be sacrament because Miles couldn't go to nursery with his cold. So, here I was getting the kids ready. Miles flipped out because he did not want to wear his nice shirt for Easter and church. He screamed and cried in the hallway during sacrament. We finally just said screw it we were going home after thirty minutes of being there.

On Monday, Miles had an okay day. We had normal meltdowns after school and it was a pretty good day.

Tuesday: We had more meltdowns then normal but nothing to bad.

Wednesday: Is when all hell broke loose. Miles had meltdown after meltdown. Wanted to fight and destroy everything in the house. At one point I took out a fold up rocking chair and finally got him rocking in it and calming down or so I thought. I was busy nursing the baby when all of sudden Miles picked up my water bottle. Nothing new, he is addicted to drinking water. I had just filled it up too so it was cold. When he threw it at me and the baby. Nothing happened before hand to cause this that I can think of. Anyways, so I had a choice protect the baby or protect my face. I of course protected the baby from the water bottle. The water bottle then slammed into my mouth which caused me to bite through my lip. I was in shock and was able to safely put the baby down somewhere. I then put Miles into his room and held his door shut. I was at this point sobbing myself while Miles screamed and slammed his body against the door. I then felt my lip and realized blood was poring out the wound. So I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up to find my lip.

Even now my lip is swollen and it hurts to eat. I couldn't wait till my husband came home and was able to be there. 

Thursday: I was fighting battles all day with him. It felt like, and when my mom arrived home. It was even worse. He was throwing chairs at everyone and trying to throw his kids table. Finally, my mom had to restrain him with her legs and he fell asleep at six pm. Do I regret him going to sleep early...nope as his Dad wouldn't be there to back me up until after bedtime. 

Today: So far he decided to punch his baby brother, punch his sister, punch me all with toys. Also thrown many toys at me because his sister was sitting somewhere where he just decided to sit. 

This week has been the worse in a long time. I am actually sitting here crying because right now I dread for his Grandma bringing him and his sister home. I feel terrible feeling that way but I need a break. I don't always get a break when others come home and it's hard. I am always on the go and always watching like a hawk to see what is going to happen next. Though, yesterday good news. I was able to finish the paperwork for Children's so it's off towards there. Closer to getting some much needed help. 

Right now any help to figure out his triggers and how to help is is rewarded. 

Kendra 

Extended Family Time

On Thursday morning, Miles was able to go to Paternal Grandma's house early in the morning. I got him all dressed in his green shirt. Well, at Grandma's there was his five cousins as well to play with and celebrate Saint Patrick's Day. Well, he had a great morning playing. The only rough part of that was he didn't want to wear pants, shoes, or even diaper to come home in.

Friday night was the rehearsal dinner for my brother-in-law and his bride. Miles was having already a bad day and I was dreaded what was going to happen. All the way to the church he was screaming and trying to get out of his car seat. I carried him into the church and took him away from everyone to calm down. Trying to keep myself calm and not stressed out over the situations. Finally he was calm and we found the rest of the group. Well, Miles was chasing his sister all over and at times i had to step in to calm him down. Finally, we brought food because no way was Miles was going to eat what was provided for dinner. Miles ate his piece of pizza and played with his cousin. Then he just randomly hit his cousin with a toy. This happened not once but three times. Then he had a huge meltdown in front of my family but also my soon sister-in-laws family as well. It was hard to not cry because here I was dealing with this. I was already nervous about this whole thing and how he was acting. My husband took him out to another room to calm him down. That night, with tears in my eyes I apologized for the way he was acting. I felt like my son (who I shouldn't have brought at all) ruined the night with his behaviors. I then messaged my sister-in-law and apologized for the way Miles kept hitting her son. It made me so uneasy about the wedding.

Saturday morning, we tried to stay in our routine as much as possible. Hoping that it would help Miles adjust to the wedding better. We went to Sam's like we normal and he flipped out going to the car. We then headed to the Temple to see him get married. My mom tagged along to take care of the kids during the ceremony. After the ceremony in the cold wind we stood to take pictures. Miles did great during the pictures and I thought hey this might work great. That evening we headed to the reception and guess what Miles had a fabulous time running around and playing with kids. We stayed past his bedtime and he was awesome.

Sunday, we headed to church and things were going good. Miles kept pointing at someone's dress and would not stop saying, "Mickey Mouse." Which they were not Mickey Mouse it was lobsters. He just kept pointing. So I mentioned for his Dad to take him for a walk with his weighed backpack. Well, I later had to leave to nurse the baby and heard Miles screaming on top of his lungs. Meltdown. Finally, I was able to trade with Dad and got Miles calmed down and took him to his nursery class where he flipped out. So I had him move chairs around in the hallway and got him in Nursery. Found out that they had a little rough time but nothing the adults couldn't handle as they have a child of their own who is autistic. Was able to talk to another autism parent about Miles and his thoughts. (I am always seeking for more).

We then headed home to rush and change clothes. Miles had a meltdown so we decided to leave him in his clothes. We then headed to my in-laws and Miles played and threw toys many times at me and his brother. Everyone except a small amount of us stayed at the house and I stayed behind to be with Miles because no way I was going to let him tour a house. We had a great evening and came home.

Yesterday, we went back to my in-laws to spend some more time. Miles was in a great mood and I swear something switched inside him. Anytime he got near his cousin his cousin would freak out. I felt really bad for Miles who wanted to play. It was hard not to cry knowing that this was how Miles life is...when he actually wants to play kids are scared of him.

Question: How do you explain it to two year olds?

After Vacation...comes...meltdowns

So, I was thrilled when I got home to find...a new packet from Children's Mercy. In case you haven't guessed we are in the middle of getting him evaluated. We are pretty sure he has autism in some sorts but we don't know what and we need help. So, now I am working on this mountain of paperwork before the end of Spring Break. I am hoping his teacher who has some paperwork to fill out will be able to get back to me soon after Spring Break. The sooner I get it in the sooner he will get in.

So, Tuesday, Dad had to go back to work and Miles...decided that he was going to let loose his own struggles. The struggles, we can't see and don't understand. At eleven o'clock he went into a huge meltdown. He was throwing his heavy cars at my head, punching, screaming, pulling chunks of my hair out, kicking me. I had to restrain him to just get him to relax. Finally, my mom took over so I could breath. This lasted for 2 1/2 hours it was a huge struggle and I cried. I cried not because of what he was doing to me. But, because I didn't know how to help him let go of his own struggles.

Then his therapist came and helped him for an hour. Once she was gone around three o'clock he was in another meltdown. Just as bad as the first one. At this time my sister was here and I could see her watching and learning. My mom took over for a bit and then my sister offered to help. After 2 hours he fell asleep from exhaustion.

When his dad arrived he had another meltdown. This one lasted an hour and it hurt to know that we couldn't help him.

I know part of it is the schedule change. He is used to going to school in the morning but since it's Spring Break no school. It also means that next week we will be struggling to get him back on school schedule. Everything changes and it's hard for him to not be on his schedule.

This weekend we have a wedding rehearsal dinner tomorrow and then it's my brother-in-law's wedding. It seems like we are getting very busy as of lately.

Question: What techniques do you use for meltdowns?

Vacation Day 2

. Make sure you read about your Vacation Day 1.

Day two, Miles slept pretty good the night before in the hotel. He got up a couple of times and Dad was able to get him back to sleep pretty quickly. Day 2 our plans was to spend the day at the Zoo. We went down to breakfast first at the hotel (we always make sure our hotel has breakfast).

Miles, was in a mood and Big Sister wanted to share his tablet with him while they ate. So she kept getting into his bubble. Some days his bubble is bigger then others and just wouldn't leave him alone. Miles, did good and ate something small for breakfast. We knew that we would have to bring lots of snacks for him on our trip.

We left for the zoo and got there soon after it opened. Miles had a blast looking at the animals until we were near a playground. This kid loves to slide and climb and this playground had all of it. Bad news...we let him go on the playground (Parents mistake...won't happen again). He played and had fun at one point was getting aggressive with another kid. I believe he punched the kid with a toy. So, we literally carried him to another exhibit of animals far away...He was screaming and anytime Dad or myself let him down he would run off towards the playground.

He could stay there watching fish for hours if we let him. He was so relaxed.

Finally, once we went inside the gorilla house he was calmed down and busy watching the gorillas. I have heard that Omaha Zoo has a lot of Gorilla and they can be quite loud at times on the glass. So, to prepare for the zoo we watched lots of youtube videos of that zoo. Miles was so excited to watch the Gorillas. He would run up to the glass and try to find them. Of course none of them were really doing anything. Except one and that was after we left it...it started to bang on the glass. We then headed to the other monkey house. 

We walked in and saw these cute little monkeys. They were jumping and swinging around and the kids loved watching them. Well, one of the smaller ones saw Miles and my daughter standing next to the class so it came to watch them. Then it would swing away and play and then jump at the glass. The kids loved watching him. 

The kids kept giving him a high five. 

Then when we walked out it was starting to rain. Miles quickly started to act up so we knew our trip was coming to a close. We were at the large cats and Miles started to have a meltdown. After that we ran to the last dome the desert dome. At this point everyone was coming into the buildings. So it was packed and Miles had enough of people. He clung to me and tried to hide under his hood the best he could. It was hard to keep him out of the sand and the water. We made it out without anything huge happening. Whew...

On our way back to the hotel we grabbed snack stuff for the hotel to tide us over to dinner. We knew Miles would be best to relax and not let anything or anyone near him. By the time we got to the hotel he was asleep. He woke up and relaxed in a bed snuggled tightly with me with his tablet to relax and let go of the world. 

That night we went to Culver's for dinner and he loved his meal. We just started to get him to eat corndogs and he gobbled it and his applesauce up and ate his ice cream. When we got to the hotel we relaxed and enjoyed our evening. Miles fell fast asleep in the bed after the routine. 

Vacation Day 1

Okay, so I am going to break down our schedule with a few comments and pictures of the places that we went.

Car Ride to Nebraska 3hrs long
   Breakfast was in the car. Since Miles has a small array of foods that he eats it's hard finding something at a fast food restraunt that he will eat for breakfast. We are lucky, that we finally found one thing that he enjoys eating and that is Hash browns from McDonalds. He loves them so much that he will eat the paper they come in. Other then him eating paper, our trip up was really good. He enjoyed playing with the toys that I packed for him for awhile and when he was bored of that he was able to play his educational games on his tablet. I think his Dad had more problems then he did with all the one ways in Omaha.

Omaha's Children Museum
   We enjoy our little children's museum here in Kansas but it was nothing compare to this one. It was loud and sensory overload for me. Miles had a blast. We first went into a room where there was slides and wheels. There was a pretend house and a water station. Also a little make-believe bank, grocery store, and hospital. Miles was all over the place and poor Dad kept up with him. While Mom went with sister. Grammy (my mom) took care of the youngest.

Next, room we went into was the art room where Miles painted a picture. It was interesting to see him relax while painting. We don't do a lot of painting at home and he usually does not like to color. But of course it didn't last long for him. 

The next room we went into was a ball room. Where it's crazy, balls are everywhere and you put them in all different things. Then they fall out of the ceiling at certain points. Thankfully, I found a video on youtube of this room to prepare him because it was crazy.

Then we went into a snow room where Miles freaked out because he was scared to climb a rock wall. Found out he not too much of a fan of heights. Who knew. We then headed up the stairs to a exhibit they have going on which is SUPER HEROES. Miles had a blast in this room. There was slides, climbing stuff, zip line, train, and another ride. He had a blast. He was also able to make a cape that he brought home. His dad followed him around and helped him try new things.

All in all he had a blast but we knew when it was time to go.

After the Children's Museum, we headed to a place to have lunch. Of course Miles, started to fall asleep before we arrived. He was done for the day and very sensitive to everything at this point. We went in side and I tried to find something he liked. I thought I would be safe getting him a yogurt and a grilled cheese. Of course he wanted none of it and was starting a meltdown and being a little crazy. He was climbing all over the booths and climbing up a wall pretty much. Finally, my husband thought hey we should get him a muffin. Miles loves muffins and perhaps he will calm down. So he took Miles to get a muffin at the counter. What they brought back was no a muffin but a cinnamon roll but he ate all of it and was calming down. We then headed back to the hotel where Miles took a short nap and had to use our famous calming down technique and that is to let him pull out and watch something on his tablet.

After we all relaxed, we headed out to the pool in our hotel. Miles loved swimming but doesn't know how to keep himself from drinking the pool so he upchucked all over Dad. Eep. We then headed back for showers and then dinner.

Miles fell asleep quickly since we made sure to do our whole bedtime routine with him even when out.

Day 1 was a huge success....

Comment below: Have you ever been to a Children's Museum?

Family Vacation

It seems like my family likes to take vacations when the time is about to change. This coming week is going to be rough on Miles. I already know and fully prepared for the meltdowns. It's going to start tomorrow for us. My husband won't be home tonight till after the kids go to bed. Which is normal and Miles expects it. My husband has school once a week and doesn't get home till late. But, tomorrow, it's my brother-in-laws's bachelor party. So, another night that my husband won't be home to help pick up the pieces that were made while he was at work.

I don't know who is not looking forward to it me or Miles. On Fridays, Miles often spends a lot of quality time with his dad on Friday nights playing video games in my room. It's a way for the to bond and Miles to just relax after a busy week. Then early on Saturday we are heading out on our vacation to stay in a hotel for a couple of nights. We are going to a Children's museum. Which can have a huge awesome time or can go down hill really quick. I have already emailed the museum for some ideas what they provide for a kid who is like Miles. No reason not to ask so that way I can be ahead on it. Then we will be going to the local zoo. Which is huge and should be lots of fun. Miles likes animals so it should be nice. Hopefully, it won't be too crowded and won't rain on us. Then we will visit the local temple to show the kids it (we are mormon). Then we will head home. We plan to swim in the pool each evening that way the kids just crash.

Our last vacation was great, until Miles woke up with a horrible cold. He kept us up all night long coughing and wheezing. Also...we had to wait for over an hr for food that should not have taken that long at a local place. So we are hoping that this vacation will be great. My mom is tagging along with us like she did last time. That way everyone can help with a kid or if need be two people can help with Miles.

So not only do we have our vacation, but when we return we are going to be smothered with my husband's family. His brother Jimmy and family (three kids) and Sister Johanna and family (two kids) are coming in town. Not sure if his brother Andy and family (three kids) are coming as well. Or if his older brother Tony and family (three kids on earth) are going to be stopping in. But everyone will be here and it gets crazy when they are all together. None of them really know what to do with Miles and his cousins don't either. So, Miles often gets sensory overload around them. But they are all in town because we will be going to the temple to see my brother-in-law Scotty and his soon to be wife Jenny get married for all eternity. Then we have the wedding reception. Our plan is that we will all go the reception then return home to get Miles in bed as close as to his bedtime as we can. My mom said she will stay so we can head back to the reception. It's going to be a busy week.

Not only that but I am going to be watching my niece Abbi during the week as her sitter is not watching kids that week and no school.

In other news. Miles has been in the oddest mood lately. Not sure if it's the rainy weather causing him to be like this or if this is just his current mood. He's been close to meltdowns a lot lately and it makes me sad. I feel for him because he doesn't want to be this way. He doesn't want to wear clothes at all which is different usually we can get him in some clothes. He doesn't want to be touched in the evening which is different for him. I just wish Children's Mercy calls soon to get him officially evaluated.  

My goal is to get him evaluated before his IEP meeting on April 8th. One step at a time is been my motto. One step at a time.

-Wish me Luck-

Kendra