To My Friends

This is an extremely hard post to write because of my feelings right now. I have to remember that even my friends don't understand what it is like to live 24/7 with an autistic child.  They don't hear my thoughts that I have and all the many challenges that we face living with someone who has autism let alone a three year old who has autism. So this is my letter to them about why I choose to not take my son to the ER after he broke his toe instead waiting the next day.

Dear Friends (I hope you are still my friends),
     Like I said this is hard to put in words how I am feeling and my thoughts of what happened Sunday night into Monday. But I prayed about it and felt that I needed to type my thoughts. I know you have my son in your thoughts and his well being. I really do appreciate it. I need to back all the way up to Saturday night. Miles was up all night long crying and having a really hard time sleeping. We then went to church Sunday and knew he just wasn't having a good day.

He didn't want to go to class and his nursery teacher pretty much sat with him in the hall all of Sunday. We then went home and relaxed before we had to leave again to head to my in-laws. At my in-laws there is a total of six kids under five years old. Then we have nine adults in the house. Miles was running like mad attacking his Uncles and playing with toys.

We had dinner where Miles couldn't sit still he had to keep moving as he was shoving his lunch-able in his mouth at lighting speed. I knew that Miles was having sensory issues because he couldn't sit still he had to stay moving. I had a feeling we were going to have a huge big blowup before bed.

After dinner I was sitting on the floor while us adults were talking and finishing dinner.  Miles started to run around and he came over and and jump over my leg like he sometimes does even at home. A few minutes later he came back and jump over my legs but didn't quite make it. He fell to the ground and was screaming. I pulled him into my lap and comfort him and looked him over and saw nothing that was concerning. He then stood up and started to cry again so I knew he hurt his foot more then I thought and had him sit with me. He wanted to go with his cousins, Aunts, Uncles, siblings, Grandparents on a walk. Anytime he stood up he started to cry and he didn't want to stay.

So I picked him up and carried him to a stroller and pushed him to the park. At the park he got out of the stroller and ran around the park. He went down the slides and swung on the swing with no problem. He showed no distress in having any pain. I put him back in the stroller and we headed back to my in-laws house.

When we arrived I carried Miles inside the house where Miles decided he rather be at the park. He took off towards the front door to leave. I pulled him into the house and he started to have a massive meltdown. He started to punch, kick me with both feet, wrap his arms around my neck from behind me to choke me, he started to pull my hair. All the while my husband tried to get the others into pjs and in the car. Miles screamed and was hurting me while he was on his feet or using his feet to kick me.

We finally got into the car and went home. Once home I carried Miles into the house and set him down where he complained his foot hurt but wasn't limping. Then if we were watching him he started to limp. We gave him some pain medicine and went through the process to get him to bed after he calmed down out of his meltdown.

Stephen and myself discussed if we needed to take him to ER to get his foot checked. We both agreed that taking him that night would be more sensory overload on Miles then need be. His foot would be fine until morning when we could take him to the walk-in. He was going to be fine on pain meds and get the sleep he so desperately needed. If we took him to the ER he would be struggling all through the x-rays where we would have to restrain him. Who knows how long it would take in the ER to get him through it all. He was doing okay walking on it for the most part but we would carry him if it seemed to be bothering him.

He tossed and turn during the night but he got some great sleep. Monday morning, we awoke and he started to limp and cry that his foot hurt. So, we agreed after his dentist appointment we would take him to walk-in. I carried Miles in my arms through the dentist appointment and he was doing great. He was his normal happy self and was playing and watching tv. Even had some icecream at the dentist. I then took him to walk-in and found out there was an hour wait which wasn't a big deal. When we got into the back room Miles did awesome and let the doctor feel and look at his foot. He also listened to the direction of the x-ray tech and held still for each x-ray they took. I didn't have to hold him or restrain him he did it all on his own.

Miles is only been on pain meds for bed at night but other then that you can barely tell his foot is broken. He is jumping, running, spinning self and play fighting. He wears a walking boot to help him walk normal so it can heal normal. The doctors told me it didn't matter when I brought him in to get it looked at.

You see, Friends. You only heard a little bit of what was going on. I made sure he wasn't harming it and was not in pain. We carried him everywhere until he was looked at. Stephen and I do have the best interest of Miles in us. When Miles is having a sensory overload any touch sets him off and since he was having one it was best to wait as lots of people would be touching him that he didn't know. When Miles is having a sensory overload a single touch is like an electric shock to his system. It literally hurts him no matter how gentle it is.

I really hope it doesn't ruin our friendship because it's such a small little argument. I do like having your friendship and I hope you enjoy having mine.

Kendra 

This Week

I can usually tell when Miles is coming down with something or if storms are going to be popping up around our house. Miles has meltdowns a ton and he is hyper and craves sensory more then usual. It's been going on all week. By the end of the day, I just want to crash. It's been hard because we have had storms so I didn't think anything of it. Actually, right now it's literally raining all day long. Miles slept horrible last night just kept crying in his sleep and when he was awake. This morning he woke up so I took over and he just cried. He barely touched his breakfast either this morning which are his favorite Muffins. So I figured today was going to be a bad day. I already planned to have pizza tonight so I didn't have to make anything. Miles would often just start crying and complaining his foot or stomach hurt. He then crawled into my lap and took a cat nap. During that time I felt his head and took his temperature and it was 99. So I knew he wasn't feeling well. He woke up and laid on the couch then started to sob. He sat up to cuddle with me again and then he threw up.

Everything made sense to me of what we went through with him this week. The meltdowns and the sensory seeking. He was getting sick.

Meeting with the School

Since Miles was diagnosed with autism and we had all evaluations to see what is next for our amazing son. We needed to call a meeting with the IEP team at the school to see where was next for Miles.  I went in hoping that we were going to be removed from his current preschool to the autistic preschool where he is able to get his ABA therapy he needs. My husband couldn't take off for it as we have a funeral this week as well. But my mom made it work and was able to input in much needed info to get the school on track. 

What we found out about Miles at the meeting is:

1. Miles has a Autism Specialist now evaluating him in the classroom. She is using VB-MAPP and another program to see what goals he needs at this moment. Also to set up his ABA therapy...

2. OT therapist is now Officially evaluating him seeing all the into we got from Children's OT therapist. 

3. Miles is smarter then everyone in his class which makes him extremely smarter then the autistic preschool kids. 

4. Speech loves how far he has come over the summer. Also started visual schedule in the classroom which they are seeing awesome progress from. 

5. Miles is reading to learn how to read. 

6. He past all of his IEP educational goals. He needed to know his colors and shapes. Which he is now surpassed. 

So, where does that lay us. It leaves Miles in a really weird place since educational wise he is passed everyone in preschool. But socially he needs a lot of help as well as social. Though he is trying to play with others now. We called for a new evaluation to see if his placement in the school is the right one. So he is going to be evaluated yet again with speech, OT, and VB-MAPP. Then we will have another IEP meeting to see where he is at and what his new goals need to be. His teacher is even helping me make an visual schedule at home to use. Miles loves using it and it helps him transition which he has huge problems with. 

They are still not seeing behaviors in the classroom yet but I am seeing them at home big time. The teacher and autistic specialist is going to put lots of sensory activities through the class for Miles to help his sensory craving ease. 

                                                       -Kendra 

Autism at Pro Baseball Game

So, we had the pleasure to take our kids to their first baseball game. I was excited for the kids to experience their first game, but a part of me was super nervous on how well Miles was going to handle being in one spot for a long time, the crowds, and the energy of the game. Well, so I started to prepare him and myself with what we need to do to accomplish the game. We made it a goal to say that we will leave if things turn for the worst. So, let me share some of our tips.

1. Be prepare to leave 
   We made it a goal to leave when things start turning dicey. We even told my daughter that anytime we could just leave the game. The goal was to have fun not have the worst experience of our lives. We were going to leave on a good note.

2. Baseball Cap, sunglasses, or a hoodie
    For Miles the baseball cap helps block out other things going on around him. He also uses sunglasses and hoodies at times. Though he just used the baseball cap to help him pull away when he needed it.

3. Call the stadium before hand. 
      I did research before the game of things that we can bring inside to if they have any procedures for children/special needs. We were in luck to find out that they have a special protocol for children. They have where the kids get a bracelet with their parents phone number as well as their seat. So we made sure to stop by there first.

4. Special Snacks and Drinks
    We brought different snacks and drinks that my kids don't normally get. They loved it and had a blast.

5. Have Fun and Take Lots of Pictures
    We had so much fun not worrying about anything. When my husband went to get some things from the food line. He took my son with him so that he can walk and get some movement. The attendents were awesome and helped us down the stairs. We also took lots of pictures so remind him of what fun we had as a family.

Miles First Day of Preschool

Miles started Preschool on Monday of this week. We have been prepping him since July 1st that school was coming back. By the time we were getting ready for school he was so excited to go. He shot out of bed and he was ready to go. He had a huge smile on his face the whole time. Which was awesome. He got on his new bus...

When he got home he told me he missed me which made me happy to hear. I was glad to see the great report. We did have a huge meltdown that night with him but we made it by. I can't believe we have one more year of pre-school after this.

Autism at the Zoo

We have always enjoyed the zoo even when Stephen and I were without our three kids. We often would go to one to walk around and look at the animals. Zoos are always changing as the animals change and have their own families. So when Miles was a baby we took him to the zoo a lot. But that's because we had a small one that was free to go walk around in our little town. So this year we decided to get a family membership to the zoo. So, how do we handle the zoo with Miles. 

1. Take someone with you to help.

       We are so lucky, to have my mom with us and willing to go with us to the zoo. We play tag team where each child has an adult that is with them. That way if one child is slower then the other the adult is with them. If G needs to go to the bathroom there is an adult with her. If Miles needs to take a break there is an adult with him.

2. Rent a wagon or stroller or bring your own

      The zoo is a large place and heck any adult gets tired walking around looking at animals. It's also nice to have to put your things in so you have easy hands to grab a child from running or walking off with someone that is not apart of your group. 

3. Weighted Backpack

      Miles doesn't usually elope, but there is so much to look at the zoo that he could take off. So we carry a backpack that Miles wears part of the time with some of his snacks, fidgets, and usually a water bottle (for weight and for drink). If we see him get anxious we usually put the backpack on him to help ground him for a little bit. 

4. Fidgets 

      We bring straws as Miles fidgets. Miles picks his skin on his hand and feet when he is anxious about something or when something is bothering him. We found out awhile ago that if he has a straws he won't pick. So, we always have straws with us and it's just regular plastic straws that you get at any fast food place. Miles loves to bend them and then straighten them over and over again. Also it makes it easy if by chance he loses one to find another one just like it. 

5. Don't make a Goal

    We don't make a goal about making sure we see all the zoo. We don't even make a goal to see everything in a section. We just go until we know the kids had enough. Sometimes we can get through more then others sometimes not. With Miles we never know. 

6. Get on the Tram and Train

     Let feet rest. Pay the extra to get the bracelet for these. It will give your feet a rest and it's a good time to hydrate and snack. Plus, most autistic kids like movements so it can help them regroup as well. 

7. Make sure to see your child's favorite animal at least twice

     Miles right now is really into the penguins. So we try to make sure to visit the penguins twice before we leave. Miles will actually watch them for over an hour and we usually let him watch them until he has had enough of them. It really helps him keep calm. We usually see them before anything else and before we leave. 

I hope some of these tips help other parents out there. There is no reason to be stuck in a house all day. It's also good for the kids to get our and be able to see the world around them. We love doing things as a family and just because Miles is autistic doesn't change us doing things as a family. We just make it work for us. 

Bedtime Routine

So, we used to have a lot of trouble with Miles sleeping. He always struggled sleeping even as a infant since he was born. He slept with me and his sister for the first year of his life. Stephen (Miles Dad my husband) used to work nights so it was just easier for me to have the kids sleep with me. When Miles turned a year old we slowly got him into the crib and G was already sleeping on her own in another room. We were living with my in-laws and my husband was now working days. It was time. He fought it like crazy and still wouldn't sleep through the night. He would wake up for hours screaming non-stop waking the whole house.

Then we moved into our house and it was still rough. He still was fighting sleep where someone would have to sit by his bed and wait till he crashed. Then literally spend all night in his room with him. Finally, we came up with a strict routine and it's worked for us. Miles is now sleeping through the night most nights and he goes to bed almost instantly. Score for us.

We decided that for our family our kids would be going to bed at 7pm every night. It gives us adults time without the kids and they get better sleep. We found out that no matter what time we put them to bed they still get up between 5-7am in the morning. So here is our family schedule for bedtime.

5:30: Dinner
6:30: PJs on
6:35: Play
6:50: Scriptures
6:55: Prayer (the kids take turns)
6:58: Goodnights to everyone and choose who putting who to bed
7:00: Bed with a small story and a water bottle
7:15: Kids are looking at a small stack of books quietly in the their room
7:30: Sleeping like a log.

Like I said it works well for us. Miles sleeps with lots of blankets on him to help ground him and several pillows to help with his acid reflex (at least what we think he has).

What's your bedtime look like?

EEG Done

I scheduled Miles appointment for him to get an EEG done. They said there was a possible chance he was having seizures that we were not seeing. Especially since I have seen him blank out once to several times a day for several minutes at a time. So, we were given the lab of an EEG. Just what a parent wants to hear is her son is having seizures. Well, I scheduled it for the 18th of July. They told me on the phone that he can not have any caffeine on Sunday or Monday. Which means no chocolate for him, that's the only caffeine he gets. Then they gave me bad news. Oh he has to go to bed three hours later then normal and be woken up at 4am in the morning. I didn't want to hear that part.

So, my husband took off the day as we were both going to trade naps all through Monday with each other. So, we had fun with the kids and kept Miles and his sister up till 10pm. My husband bought the kids mini vanilla shakes from sonic at 8pm. It was pretty easy keeping him up until the last 30 min. When he started to doze sitting up. So I would just tickle him. Finally, we put him in bed and he was out like a light.

My alarm went off at 3:50am. I dragged myself out of bed and got myself awake to keep him awake. I went into room and turned the light on....nothing still sound asleep. So I slowly started to talk and tickle him on his sides. He giggled and moved and then I said, "Let's go watch Super Why..." He jumped out of bed and was on the couch. I got him dressed and finished packing for our trip up. While he watched Super Why.

I figured the car trip was going to be the hardest part on keeping him awake. As we had an hour trip up to the hospital. But, we got McDonalds for breakfast (which for Miles is a sprite and lots of hashbrowns). By the time he finished breakfast we were there. No problem staying awake and he was in a great mood.

We waited by the door for what seemed like forever till 6:00am. Finally they opened the doors at 6:15am to get us in. We went in and soon we were in our room. The lady was really sweet and asked me a ton of questions about Miles. We then had to lay him down for her to glue the electodes to his head. As soon as she started to measure and mark his head Miles started to freak out. I gave him his straws and he threw them across the room. He screamed and tried everything for her to stop what she was doing. My husband had to lay on him to hold him still while I held his head still. Then the gluing and putting electrodes happened and he struggled even more. Enough that he was moving my husband.

Finally on the last electrode, Miles fell asleep. She bandaged his head so if he did wake up he couldn't grab them. We then let him sleep while she took data for 15 min. We then had to wake him up just enough for her to flash 20 sets of lights in his eyes. He went to a doze after that. Finally we could leave. Miles was awesome and handled it as much as he could so he was treated to a cookie and a chocolate milk in the cafeteria.

He fell asleep on the way home for a little bit. When we got home we had lunch and I had Miles lay down with him. He moved so much trying to stay awake then fell into a deep sleep. He slept 3 hrs with me.

We will find out in a week how things went.
 

Dear Mommy to Miles

 Dear Mommy to Miles (age newborn),

 You just had your first boy....right now you are thinking if things are going to go in same road as it did with G. Rest assure he does go into the nursery and to be separated but only for eleven hours. You did amazing in your c-section. You even laughed during some it which in point made everyone laugh. Now, comes the fun part. You sitting there wondering how G is going to take her new role of sisterhood. Is she going to love her baby brother? Are they going to play together? Would she feel sad or worse lonely? 

  I am here to tell you that that beautiful bundle in the blue blankets is an amazing little boy. Momma, he is fun loving little boy. You made it to your goal of nursing tell he self weaned at 22 months. You loved every minute of it as you cuddled. You have hardships that you don't expect. But you make it, Momma. You still have an amazing little boy. 

 

Dear Mommy to Miles (age 6 months),

  Hey Momma it's me again. Right now you are trying to get Miles to eat that rice cereal that you yourself won't even try. Ginny is most likely running around the living room in pigtails trying to get him to watch her. He never does look at her or you for that chance. You notice how quiet he is compare to his sister but I see you brush it off because heck it's different having a boy after a girl. You don't think as you are rocking super fast in your rocking chair with him tight in your arms that something different. You tell people he is just having a sensory overload. Thinking it's normal for him to scream and fight to nurse. He still nurses though momma...you love those quiet moments of him in your arms. But you wish he would look up at you into your eyes. I feel your pain, I remember it well. Everyone says you see love in their eyes when they nurse and he never looks at him. Be strong and just love on him. 

Dear Mommy to Miles (age 1 year)

     Look how far you have come. A little more then a year ago you were wondering if you could be a mom of two plus go to school first time. It was a hard year, I remember it well. You were pushing through student teaching to make it work. You did it. Don't let you self doubt your self. I know it's hard to have the kids and living at your in-laws. I know. It's been an awesome couple of months though being able to stay home with them. To watch them grow and learn all because of you. Miles is now a year old and he has such a fun personality. Right now things are almost perfect. He finally starting to talk. I remember the day he completely surprised you by saying, "yellow" clear as day. This is year it's no so easy, enjoy this time you have with him right now. Things are going to change and you are barely going to make it to the next day. Know your little one loves you so much. He loves having you home to be with him. I can't think of a perfect time to be home with your little one then right now. 

Dear Mommy to Miles (18 months), 

    Momma, I see you sitting there crying in the corner of your room. I see your pain so evident on your face. I wish I could give you a big hug. This time you need to be strong for your family even when others out there are blaming you for your son behavior. Right now, it's so hard working full time with kids who can't verbally tell you what is wrong. Then come home to the same thing. You look at G and you say, "What did I do differently with Miles." Don't beat yourself up. You start making a doctor's appointment and he mentions autism. Which you knew he was going to say but now you know. Even though you have to wait two long years for help, I see your pain. You try hard to keep him from screaming through out the night for the fear of waking others. Momma, I see your pain as you rock him to sleep just hoping he would stay asleep for one night so you can rest your tired aching body. I watched you take the pregnancy test and cry because you don't know how you can have another when you have lost control of everything. Oh...but that baby you are carrying inside of you is so sweet and amazing little boy. He's the brother that your son needs to learn. I see you struggle being at work and I see you just want to delay returning home. Momma, I have been there. I was in your shoes. Take a deep breath because you got this. YOU GOT THIS! 

Dear Mommy to Miles (2 years), 

    It's such a huge relief when help arrives the sweetest way. Patti is amazing with Miles and she just fits into the household. Now, you are getting huge and it hurts when Miles kicks and punches you. He doesn't know that he is hurting you. You put on a brave face in front of the kids, your mom, and your husband. When inside you are dreading the fact you are having another boy. Another boy that you will fail. The wait seems to drag on to get Miles tested but you know it's coming. He has the signs. He finally, not screaming much...thank goodness. Your ears still ring from those months and months of the screaming. Enjoy having Patti in the house and listen to every word that comes out. She loves Miles like he is one of her own kids. She has his best interest. I see you worried about, "What if Miles hurts the baby?" "What if he hurts the baby enough to kill him?" Guess what I can rest your thoughts because M is a year old and no serious injury has come to him. Actually Miles loves his brother a ton. M can get away with things no one else cans that is how their relationship is. Remember take a deep breath. YOU GOT THIS! 

Dear Mommy to Miles (2 1/2 years),

    You watch how Miles is with his siblings and you wonder if they would ever play like normal kids. G tries so hard to get her brother to play with her and you cry for her when you are alone. You are still waiting for that call to say that he is going to be evaluated. It's coming it's coming. The school district came out and met Miles and you didn't like what they had to say. I can see the fire in your eyes knowing that they don't see the things you see. They say he has no OT needs and yet here he is running on his tip toes, needing a weight in his backpack. What do you see that they don't. It makes you nervous on how he is going to be treated in preschool. He is an amazing kid and you just want the best of him. I know...and answers are coming soon. Keep listening to Patti she is there to help as much as she can. 

Dear Mommy to Miles (3 years old)

        Right now you just got over HFM disease. It was a hard choice to cancel both kids parties but there is always next year. You keep saying we will have it in two weeks. It doesn't come and IT'S OKAY. June 9th is coming and Miles will get evaluated. Your answers are there and yet I need you to brace yourself for the impact. Sure you have known he was autistic since 18 months but the answers are going to cause your heart to break. To know for sure makes things ten times worse in your mind. Don't ask why but you cry and cry for days after. I wish I could give you a big hug and say it's okay. You still struggle a month later but it's not that bad. Miles preschool teacher is driving you nuts at this point. Because of her vague answers to know how he is at school. May is not a good month either. Miles ends up biting again and struggles with the routines being messed up over and over again. June is a better month. You will love Miles summer school teacher. She sends you pictures and tells you ever behavior he has. You find out that she does sensory breaks and he's so happy in the afternoon. Things are getting better. Keep your head up...I am here...

July 4th

So, the only thing we had planned was a picnic with some friends and family for the fourth. We were going to play everything else by ear. It was nice to have family over. My sisters and brother in law are awesome with Miles in ways I wish others were. Miles had to show them his room and the rest of the house first then they played rough. At one point my brother-in-law hid from everyone and Miles with the other kids had to go find him. Of course they were scared as they knew he will jump out of them. Miles led the charge but then one of them would squeal and all run away from where he hid.

The thing Miles loves to play is hide and seek. He has always loved playing it since he was a baby because he loves when people pop out at him. He sometimes will work to play hide and seek. Of course he hides in the same spot every single time. Anyways, it was nice to have everyone over for awhile. Miles eat his lunchable we provided because we know he wouldn't eat anything else. After everyone left we took that time to relax around the house before heading out to see fireworks.

As 1. Miles goes to bed at 7pm and fireworks start at 9:30ish. So, we decided that if all the kids fall asleep we were just going to miss the fireworks. So, as we waited home before we need to get out the kids watched the old Ghostbusters 2 movie. (like I said Miles loves being scared) so he squealed and just relaxed.

At 8:15pm we headed out to find a location to watch the fireworks. We wanted it to be easy for us to just leave if by chance Miles does not handle it well. Well we found the perfect spot and my friend parked next to us. The kids played hard by running up a huge hill by us to us down bellow. Miles wrestled with my friend Kait. He threw a ball and tried catching it. He threw pop pops on the ground. He was obsessed with a dog that was near us. He kept going to pet it which was fine with the people. Over a year ago Miles was bit in the face by a dog because he squealed at it. So he is usually uneasy around dogs. He loved this golden lab.

Finally at 9:45pm the fireworks started. Each one that pop up Miles would yell, "Boom..." It was great seeing that he enjoyed it as much as we did. After it was all done we headed home. Before we got home in the five minutes..he was sound asleep. Slept through my husband putting him in bed and changing his diaper. He slept from then to 6am.

The next day was rough in the house as all three kids were extremely tired. We just took it easy.

Hope you guys had an awesome 4th.

Autism is Lonely

I have lost so many friends because of AUTISM. I am so glad that we have the diagnosis don't get me wrong. But, it's a lonely ride in this world. No one wants to have their kids hurt, heck I don't want my kids hurt. So I get this...but it's lonely. Can't have group of friends when they don't understand why your son does things different. Can't have friends because you can't go anywhere without advance notice. Can't have friends because their kids can get hurt.

It's lonely...it's so very lonely. I just wish it wasn't so lonely....

The Day from Hell

The day started off wonderful. Miles woke up on his own and ate breakfast. He was pretty calm so I thought, "Today is going to be a GREAT day." But, I never know what is going to happen the few hours he will be at school. Or what is going to set him off because it's different every single time. I took Miles outside to get ready for the bus and he still a happy camper. We do our usual where he takes a toy all the way to the bus. When the bus arrived it was no his normal bus driver. But he didn't pay any mind to the change which made me relax. Especially since the bus attendant was the same person as it's been since June 1st.

Off he went to school for a few hours. During that time I spend a lot with G and M. G does her homeschooling work in reading, writing, and math. I play with M on the floor and G and I get a conversation going back and forth. I also mentally prepare for anything when Miles comes home. What I didn't realize was how bad it was going to get that afternoon.

Miles got off the bus at 11:45am, and I could tell something was off but didn't think anything of it (first mistake), I grabbed his backpack before we made it to the door as I usually do. I opened his bag to take out his communication notebook and read that he had a rough day. He didn't want to do anything that was asked of him. Also they pushed him to play with other kids in the class (Part of IEP). I thought, "Well, he's in a great mood." We went inside and he went off to see his siblings. I made lunch and he gobbled it down like normal. PB sandwich and chips with applesauce. It's his go to meal.

That is when hell broke loose. He wanted control of his sister and brother. He pushed his sister off the couch and I went over and said there room for both of you. Then sat in between the two of them. Sometimes that is enough this time it was not. He got up slowly and went over to a toy and threw it at his sister head. I blocked it and marched him into his room.

He started punching and kicking me and I kept blocking as much I could. I even held his hands to keep him to stop punching me. At that time his brother wondered in to be near me. Miles looked at him but didn't do anything other then scratch my arm. I held his arms again, not letting him to get me. He was screaming and kicking me at this point and it was raring its ugly head. I let go of his hands to move his brother out of the room and in that time frame...Miles reached and tried to scratch my eyes but made it to my cheeks and nose (which reminds me clip fingernails). I held his hands and told him that we do not scratch. I then let go and stood up to leave and he chucked a toy at my head. I started to walk away again when he charged at me to punch me. I carefully picked him up and put him back in his bed. Then grabbed his stretch blanket and had him pull. He usually relaxes with it this time...nope. He scratched me again in the face while pulling me closer. Finally, I called for reinforcement. As this time his sister and brother wanted to be near me so not only was I dealing with Miles but telling his sister to leave the room. Because I started to have to protect her from the situation at hand. I called my mom on the phone and she came home early from work. She took over for me while I took care of the other kids. Finally, he fell asleep.

She took my daughter who needed one on one attention to the store with her while I stayed home to work on dinner and be with the boys. Within two min after she left Miles was screaming in his room. I thought I should just leave him be and ignore him, maybe he will stop. (wrong again). He came out nice and calm and climb on my lap.  I thought oh he wants to cuddle. (wrong again). He started to pound on my face with his fist. He had my arm trapped and I was nursing his baby brother on my other room. He at one point grabbed a remote and smacked me six times with the remote on my head. At this point I was crying. My mom walked in grabbed him and I finished making dinner. My husband then arrived at 5:30pm. He took over for my mom while we both finished. Finally, Miles stopped. He went from a 10 to a 0 in second flat.

All three of us adults were exhausted. I didn't want to do a single thing after that. I had bruises forming, found pieces of skin were torn off my face. I just kept thinking, "What am I going to do to get him to stop this violence."

About Evaluation Process

So last Thursday, we were able to go up to Children's Mercy to get Miles evaluated. Before we got to that point we were referral to it then had to wait for ever to get a call. Once the call came, they sent me tons of paperwork to fill out and gather from his school and Infant Toddler program. I turned that in quickly because I wanted him to evaluated as soon as possible. We had to wait two years for the phone call and I didn't want to wait anymore then I had to. Then three weeks went by and they called to set an appointment up. As you recall we had to wait for a month to get the appointment. So, finally June 9th came and I didn't sleep very well.

I took with me though:
A Binder full of documents: Birth Certificate, social card, shot record, medical insurance card, All his Infant Toddler papers, All his IEP papers, All communication between his school year teacher, All communication with his summer school teacher, Letters from his past Nursery teachers, letter from his current nursery teachers, letters from friends who watch him off and on, letters from past sitters for events.

I also took Mile's straws and weighted backpack with some toys. Snacks were packed and drinks.

It was a lot to bring but we were told it could take all day or at least four hours. We were there from 9:00am to 2:00pm. When we walked in there were three people in the room. Each were covering something different. All three tested Miles and asked us a million questions. They at first saw Miles great side. Then they saw his humor side by tricking you, then at last he had a meltdown. He was hitting the people in the face, arms, legs. Trying to bite them, kicking them. Many of times did we want to intervene but we were told they could handle it. It was emotional exhausting for all of us. Then at last they left the room to talk to each other and go over scores. When they came back they had a grave face.

I think they thought I would react differently to what they were saying. She then said, "We are diagnosing him with autism." I just sat there looking at them with shock...because they diagnosis him with something I knew he had. I went in thinking they were just going to say that I was a bad mom. I have heard it from other people, "Oh he doesn't have autism your just a bad mom." So hearing that I was right was a complete shock and relief.

Now, don't think that I didn't want my son to not have it. I did. But I have already grieved for that life. They told us all the other things he has...the other disorders. It's a huge list for such a little kid. I will go over all they said he had later. Then came a surprising part to me..is Miles is super smart. I knew he was smart but didn't realize how much he was. You see they found out that Miles visual problem solving skills were at a five year old level. So in reality he thinks a lot like his five year old sister. Then...we found out that Miles fine motors were a huge problem and part of his frustration with the world. Miles fine motor is barely at a two year old level.

Which is a huge surprise as he been evaluated by two OT therapist. One with Infant Toddler who said he had sensory issues...which we knew but wanted it to be on paper. The other was when he started preschool with our school district. Oh he has no trouble with his motor skills, no sensory issues. Something tells me to believe the ones at the hospital. They said can you imagine...knowing how to do something and yet...you can't do it by yourself. It would be exhausting and frustrating. This hit me super hard as a mom because it's something I did not expect at all. I did not expect his fine motors being so far behind because no one mentioned it to me.

No wonder he throws meltdown after meltdowns by Thursday. No one understands his frustration to not do something. No wonder he plays with little kids younger then him this his own age. Then..of course his speech is really behind. Miles can barely say more then 20 words clearly. I know some of his gibberish words because I hear them all the time. But not everyone even Grandma, Grammy, my husband. They are always asking. So it has to be so frustrating so Miles.

We have another appointment next Thursday to go more in depth of his diagnosis. We also will have a CT and EEG ordered to check some things then blood work. In other words...here we go...understanding Miles.

The Difference Between Miles and his Siblings

I didn't notice that Miles was different until 18 months old when he stopped talking he few words and would just scream night and day, happy and sad, excited, and angry. That was until I was pregnant with Mile's little brother M. When I was pregnant with Miles, I would down water like mad and we found out that I had gestational diabetes. I failed right off the bat of the three hours with him. It was so bad that they weren't sure if I should do the three hours. I struggled with it so badly. I craved the things i couldn't have. I would just cry my eyes out on the bed because I wanted...pasta. When he would move he would move like mad. All the time. Which was just like his big sister. Then, my blood pressure started having problems, then protein was found, then my red blood cells kept dropping, then fluids kept dropping. We almost delivered Miles at 35 weeks which was a week earlier then his sister. Nope, things changed for the better for two more weeks. When I went in for my c-section, he was moving around like mad. It was like he knew it was his time to enter the world. He didn't want to come out the way that he was suppose to...he made eye contact with the doctor right away...which the doctor said has never happened before. He had to be in NICU for 12 hrs because his blood sugars were too low. All because I couldn't eat for 12 hrs before having him. He nursed right off the bat and was a happy as a claim.

Then...he was yellow. I mean not your normal yellow. No...he was extremely yellow baby. We had his bilirubin tested all the time and they were fine..for three months this kid was yellow. Finally, the pedi sent us to a Children's Hospital to get him looked at by a GI specialist. Found out that Miles had an enzyme missing from his liver. Had to give him extra fiber once a day in his milk. Finally, he was normal color.

Miles never cooed, never blew spit bubbles, barely smiled as a baby, never laughed, never really repeated you. It didn't bother me because hey he's a boy, boys are not like that. He finally spoke at a year old the normal mama, dada, baba stuff. Then he spoke strange words like yellow, red, blue at a year old that was amazing. Then at 18 months it just stopped. He stopped sleeping good and would just scream all night long. It was like a switch flipped. I was working with autistic kids at this time and started to see so many similarties...so started to make calls. Got a referrel to three different hospitals. All three said they had two year waiting list... Miles started to be agressive. Biting became the worst thing alive. Leaving scars on his sister. She would cry in another part of the house and he would run and hunt her down to attack. Finally, got therapy going and things were getting better slowly.

Miles's little Brother M was born. M is different from the get go. M's pregnancy was different. I had gestational diabetes but only had my morning numbers having problems. He was born at 39 weeks via c-section completely healthy nursing right off. M started to coo and it dawned on me...never heard it from Miles. M started started blewing spit bubbles, Miles never did that until now learning it from brother. M smiles all the time, M laughs all the time, m tries to repeat, M says mama, dada, baba at 9 months old.

Watching M make all these milestones has made me realize signs were there. Signs were there that Miles wasn't normal. It's hard to see the difference between them and I am sure so many will keep happening as they get older.

This is the Last Week

Miles had a great couple of days. We have been able to get outside and enjoy the nice weather. He's been a pretty happy kid with minor meltdowns or no meltdowns at all. Which makes me very grateful. We also have been seeing major improvements in him. I like to think that I have done something to increase these improvements. But, we all know the truth he just figured them out. Like one of his major improvements is to give us warning when he's getting upset. Such has he strains his body tight from feet to hands in fist form and growls at you. We usually try to fix what ever is bothering him before he starts flipping out. It's been working pretty well, but it's not a 100%. Then when he doesn't want to do something he sighs really loud and rolls his eyes. My husband was getting upset over it and here I was silently cheering because he was forcing his mood not acting out his mood by screaming or hitting.  I mean with our daughter we would be upset because it's rude but for him it's not rude...at all we rather he does that.

So also this past week, we put up a swing set. Miles was so happy and it gives him a new release for his energy. So it's been nice to be able to go out back and let him run and play. I am hoping to get more outside things for the kids so we can spend a lot of time outside. With him. But then we found new consequences...his mood takes a massive turn in the evening. The question remains..is it from being tired or is it from allergies. Part of me doesn't think it's the being worn out because when Miles is tired he is actually...in a better mood. I swear the less sleep this kid gets the less behaviors we have at home. Since we stopped forcing naps things have gotten a lot better. He's a weird kid. So, next is to figure out what kind of allergies he has...because no way do I want to give this kid benedryll every single day. Miles on it is crazy....he screams and runs around the house until it wears off.

So it looks like another appointment will be added to our list to get for Miles. I swear his appointment list is getting really long and keeping us busy.

Another epiphany moment is after we ate pizza for dinner. All night he was up coughing like crazy and drinking like mad. We eat pizza once a week at most and every time he is coughing all night long. So, another thing to get looked at for him is Acid Reflex. This kid is an awesome kid and we love him..we just need to take it one day at time.

Yesterday, it felt like everything changed for the worse with him. All of our progress went out the window. It was storming and we were getting nasty storms later that night. The closer the storms were getting the worse Miles got. At one point he was kicking me over and over again in my lower back, he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled hard, he punched me millions of time in the back of my head. I just sat there, because I knew if I reacted or blocked him he would go after his sister or worse his baby brother. So, I sat there taking it and crying. It hurts that I can't do anything to help him. I knew the storms were bothering him and tried to distract him with movies. He was in that mood and it was hard to get him out of it. By the time my mom and Stephen arrived. I was done...I just wanted to stay away from him and be alone.

Today, is heading that way as well. It's hard on these days to get anything done because he wants to take it out on people. I just don't know...

42 Days! 

Yesterday Evening FROM HELL

Okay,
      So Miles went to school with no problem. Got off the bus no problem. I checked his backpack and found a note from his teacher. Oh no...was my first thought. What did he do? Is he going to be suspended? Did he hurt another child? Did he hurt a teacher? Those were my thoughts as I dreaded to pull out the note from his teacher. It said another child threw a toy and it hit Miles. I looked at my son and see no marks. But, I did think...well Miles you do that to everyone here. Then I thought, why were those my first thoughts. Is it my first worry for my son hurting someone Yes...for the reason he hurts a lot of his with no reason.

    That evening, Miles had a meltdown. It was his normal meltdown but on steroids it seemed. We haven't had one to this extreme this long in awhile. He started throwing toys around which I took care of. He then chucked toys at his sister to hurt her or get her reaction. I blocked. I took him to his room and it was an all out punching me in the back of my head, kicking my back, slapping me, throwing toys at me, screaming on top of his lungs. At one point, I thought he was calm. So I let go...and he took off like lightening to the living room. Before I could get up, he punched his sister with a toy. I heard her scream bloody murder and had to peal him off of her. I then carried him back to his room. Grabbed the baby and sister and put them in my room for safety. Then took care of him blowing up to his normal levels.

Finally, his dad arrived and he took over while I took care of the other two. He fell asleep for about five minutes. When he awoke it was back to square one. I took him outside to see if I can get him to flip 180 degrees (it works sometimes, other times nope). No luck he screamed and screamed. Dad took over so I could take care of the baby. When my friend Tara arrived. She offered to see if he would calm down for her. She took it like a pro and soon he calmed down and was the happy go lucky kid again.

He ate his dinner. We did normal bedtime routine and off to bed he went. No fighting and no meltdowns...

This kid going to kill me...

WE GOT THE APPOINTMENT!

Sorry, I am literally jumping for joy when I received a call yesterday from Children's Mercy. Here I was pretty down that we were leaving the comforts of Infant Toddlers Services on Monday. So when I answered the phone and it was Children's Mercy I was so excited. We set up the appointment for June 9th...and that makes me excited and sad. We just have to get to June 9th...


JUNE 9TH...


jUNE 9TH...

JUNE 9TH....


JUNE 9TH...

2 months and 2 days
63 days
1512 hrs
5443200 seconds


We can DO THIS!

Saying Goodbye is Hard

So on Monday, we had to say goodbye to our Infant Toddler therapist for Miles. When she arrived the first time we met her when knew she would make a perfect fit for our families. Not only was she helping Miles but she was helping the rest of us understand a little more about him.

When Miles was close to two years old, he was at the point of not speaking at all but screaming on top of his lungs 24/7. He would scream when he was happy, sad, angry, excited, anxious and all in between. Anytime, big sister would cry or whine he would charge after her no matter where she was in the house and bite her. We would spend most of the day in an all out struggle with him to eat, sleep, and even to not have a meltdown. His meltdowns were never shorter then two hours and by that point we were so beaten up by him it would cause us to be in tears. So when Patti arrived it was a godsend.

She helped us right off the bat to give us tips to get him to stop biting. As his bites were leaving scars and to show us how to get him to stop kicking me in the stomach (I was pregnant with #3). The biting went away for the most part. He fell in love with her that first day. She helped us with meal times and bed times.

She gave us so many good resources that helped us understand him. It's hard for a parent to ask for help but it was needed. She knew when it was time to pull in a speech therapist and OT therapist. She loved Miles and we always made sure to work with her each week. All three of my kids loved her and she has given my daughter tips in dealing with her brother.

So Monday, it was hard to say goodbye. Goodbye to that part of our lives that we had. Now, we don't have any therapies coming to the house and that in itself is hard. We don't get those tips anymore and those little helps to keep us going.

I have to say, I am so blessed to have Infant Toddler Services rush to get him evaluated for their program. It was hard to hear that there was a two year waiting list from every hospital in KS to evaluate him when we felt like our lives were falling apart. Infant Toddler gave us hope and send us our savior Patti at the time we needed the the most.

Next Chapter of ours lives is IEPs...

A week from Hell

This week for some reason is worse then everything we have been through. Not sure if it's because of illness or getting used to his new schedule of going back to school after spring break. So...this week has been extremely rough on me, Miles, and his siblings. We have had a lot of major meltdowns and things that he has never done before do.

On Sunday, we had a hard time getting out the door to go to church. We knew it was only going to be sacrament because Miles couldn't go to nursery with his cold. So, here I was getting the kids ready. Miles flipped out because he did not want to wear his nice shirt for Easter and church. He screamed and cried in the hallway during sacrament. We finally just said screw it we were going home after thirty minutes of being there.

On Monday, Miles had an okay day. We had normal meltdowns after school and it was a pretty good day.

Tuesday: We had more meltdowns then normal but nothing to bad.

Wednesday: Is when all hell broke loose. Miles had meltdown after meltdown. Wanted to fight and destroy everything in the house. At one point I took out a fold up rocking chair and finally got him rocking in it and calming down or so I thought. I was busy nursing the baby when all of sudden Miles picked up my water bottle. Nothing new, he is addicted to drinking water. I had just filled it up too so it was cold. When he threw it at me and the baby. Nothing happened before hand to cause this that I can think of. Anyways, so I had a choice protect the baby or protect my face. I of course protected the baby from the water bottle. The water bottle then slammed into my mouth which caused me to bite through my lip. I was in shock and was able to safely put the baby down somewhere. I then put Miles into his room and held his door shut. I was at this point sobbing myself while Miles screamed and slammed his body against the door. I then felt my lip and realized blood was poring out the wound. So I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up to find my lip.

Even now my lip is swollen and it hurts to eat. I couldn't wait till my husband came home and was able to be there. 

Thursday: I was fighting battles all day with him. It felt like, and when my mom arrived home. It was even worse. He was throwing chairs at everyone and trying to throw his kids table. Finally, my mom had to restrain him with her legs and he fell asleep at six pm. Do I regret him going to sleep early...nope as his Dad wouldn't be there to back me up until after bedtime. 

Today: So far he decided to punch his baby brother, punch his sister, punch me all with toys. Also thrown many toys at me because his sister was sitting somewhere where he just decided to sit. 

This week has been the worse in a long time. I am actually sitting here crying because right now I dread for his Grandma bringing him and his sister home. I feel terrible feeling that way but I need a break. I don't always get a break when others come home and it's hard. I am always on the go and always watching like a hawk to see what is going to happen next. Though, yesterday good news. I was able to finish the paperwork for Children's so it's off towards there. Closer to getting some much needed help. 

Right now any help to figure out his triggers and how to help is is rewarded. 

Kendra 

Extended Family Time

On Thursday morning, Miles was able to go to Paternal Grandma's house early in the morning. I got him all dressed in his green shirt. Well, at Grandma's there was his five cousins as well to play with and celebrate Saint Patrick's Day. Well, he had a great morning playing. The only rough part of that was he didn't want to wear pants, shoes, or even diaper to come home in.

Friday night was the rehearsal dinner for my brother-in-law and his bride. Miles was having already a bad day and I was dreaded what was going to happen. All the way to the church he was screaming and trying to get out of his car seat. I carried him into the church and took him away from everyone to calm down. Trying to keep myself calm and not stressed out over the situations. Finally he was calm and we found the rest of the group. Well, Miles was chasing his sister all over and at times i had to step in to calm him down. Finally, we brought food because no way was Miles was going to eat what was provided for dinner. Miles ate his piece of pizza and played with his cousin. Then he just randomly hit his cousin with a toy. This happened not once but three times. Then he had a huge meltdown in front of my family but also my soon sister-in-laws family as well. It was hard to not cry because here I was dealing with this. I was already nervous about this whole thing and how he was acting. My husband took him out to another room to calm him down. That night, with tears in my eyes I apologized for the way he was acting. I felt like my son (who I shouldn't have brought at all) ruined the night with his behaviors. I then messaged my sister-in-law and apologized for the way Miles kept hitting her son. It made me so uneasy about the wedding.

Saturday morning, we tried to stay in our routine as much as possible. Hoping that it would help Miles adjust to the wedding better. We went to Sam's like we normal and he flipped out going to the car. We then headed to the Temple to see him get married. My mom tagged along to take care of the kids during the ceremony. After the ceremony in the cold wind we stood to take pictures. Miles did great during the pictures and I thought hey this might work great. That evening we headed to the reception and guess what Miles had a fabulous time running around and playing with kids. We stayed past his bedtime and he was awesome.

Sunday, we headed to church and things were going good. Miles kept pointing at someone's dress and would not stop saying, "Mickey Mouse." Which they were not Mickey Mouse it was lobsters. He just kept pointing. So I mentioned for his Dad to take him for a walk with his weighed backpack. Well, I later had to leave to nurse the baby and heard Miles screaming on top of his lungs. Meltdown. Finally, I was able to trade with Dad and got Miles calmed down and took him to his nursery class where he flipped out. So I had him move chairs around in the hallway and got him in Nursery. Found out that they had a little rough time but nothing the adults couldn't handle as they have a child of their own who is autistic. Was able to talk to another autism parent about Miles and his thoughts. (I am always seeking for more).

We then headed home to rush and change clothes. Miles had a meltdown so we decided to leave him in his clothes. We then headed to my in-laws and Miles played and threw toys many times at me and his brother. Everyone except a small amount of us stayed at the house and I stayed behind to be with Miles because no way I was going to let him tour a house. We had a great evening and came home.

Yesterday, we went back to my in-laws to spend some more time. Miles was in a great mood and I swear something switched inside him. Anytime he got near his cousin his cousin would freak out. I felt really bad for Miles who wanted to play. It was hard not to cry knowing that this was how Miles life is...when he actually wants to play kids are scared of him.

Question: How do you explain it to two year olds?

After Vacation...comes...meltdowns

So, I was thrilled when I got home to find...a new packet from Children's Mercy. In case you haven't guessed we are in the middle of getting him evaluated. We are pretty sure he has autism in some sorts but we don't know what and we need help. So, now I am working on this mountain of paperwork before the end of Spring Break. I am hoping his teacher who has some paperwork to fill out will be able to get back to me soon after Spring Break. The sooner I get it in the sooner he will get in.

So, Tuesday, Dad had to go back to work and Miles...decided that he was going to let loose his own struggles. The struggles, we can't see and don't understand. At eleven o'clock he went into a huge meltdown. He was throwing his heavy cars at my head, punching, screaming, pulling chunks of my hair out, kicking me. I had to restrain him to just get him to relax. Finally, my mom took over so I could breath. This lasted for 2 1/2 hours it was a huge struggle and I cried. I cried not because of what he was doing to me. But, because I didn't know how to help him let go of his own struggles.

Then his therapist came and helped him for an hour. Once she was gone around three o'clock he was in another meltdown. Just as bad as the first one. At this time my sister was here and I could see her watching and learning. My mom took over for a bit and then my sister offered to help. After 2 hours he fell asleep from exhaustion.

When his dad arrived he had another meltdown. This one lasted an hour and it hurt to know that we couldn't help him.

I know part of it is the schedule change. He is used to going to school in the morning but since it's Spring Break no school. It also means that next week we will be struggling to get him back on school schedule. Everything changes and it's hard for him to not be on his schedule.

This weekend we have a wedding rehearsal dinner tomorrow and then it's my brother-in-law's wedding. It seems like we are getting very busy as of lately.

Question: What techniques do you use for meltdowns?

Vacation Day 3

So our vacation was coming to a close. Miles woke up later then usual so we all had to rush to breakfast. He ate his muffin and was having a great morning. We packed up the hotel and checked out. Our last stop was Winter Quarters Temple. We try to make it a family tradition on family vacations to take a picture at a temple as a family. So, we made it to the temple and walked around it and took some family pictures.

Winter's Quarter Temple Omaha, Nebraska

Our family: Left to Right
Me (Kendra), Miles (2 1/2 years old), Ginny (4 1/2 years old), Stephen, and Mason (9 months) 

Dad and his boys

Mom and her boys 

My mom (Kid's Grammy) and her loves
She lives with us and helps us a ton 

Then on our way back to Kansas we were going. It was a long road back and even longer because Mason (the baby) was done being in his car seat and extremely tired. So he screamed most of the way back which got Miles who was done being his car seat in a frenzy. So an hour or so away from home we had to stop for lunch and try to cool everyone nerves. At this point, Miles wanted no one to touch him or talk to him. I went to business to help calm him down. We made our paces on some landscape rocks and slowly Miles calmed down or so I thought till he ran right into the drive thru. I finally was able to get him inside McDonald's. Where he pushed around the restraunt one of the highchairs with his brother in it. He finally calmed down enough to eat his lunch and was able to go back in his car seat. 

We were finally home and relaxed...It was a great trip...and all of us can't wait to have another vacation come summer. When we will hit Saint Louis area. 

Question: What is your favorite vacation spot? 

Vacation Day 2

. Make sure you read about your Vacation Day 1.

Day two, Miles slept pretty good the night before in the hotel. He got up a couple of times and Dad was able to get him back to sleep pretty quickly. Day 2 our plans was to spend the day at the Zoo. We went down to breakfast first at the hotel (we always make sure our hotel has breakfast).

Miles, was in a mood and Big Sister wanted to share his tablet with him while they ate. So she kept getting into his bubble. Some days his bubble is bigger then others and just wouldn't leave him alone. Miles, did good and ate something small for breakfast. We knew that we would have to bring lots of snacks for him on our trip.

We left for the zoo and got there soon after it opened. Miles had a blast looking at the animals until we were near a playground. This kid loves to slide and climb and this playground had all of it. Bad news...we let him go on the playground (Parents mistake...won't happen again). He played and had fun at one point was getting aggressive with another kid. I believe he punched the kid with a toy. So, we literally carried him to another exhibit of animals far away...He was screaming and anytime Dad or myself let him down he would run off towards the playground.

He could stay there watching fish for hours if we let him. He was so relaxed.

Finally, once we went inside the gorilla house he was calmed down and busy watching the gorillas. I have heard that Omaha Zoo has a lot of Gorilla and they can be quite loud at times on the glass. So, to prepare for the zoo we watched lots of youtube videos of that zoo. Miles was so excited to watch the Gorillas. He would run up to the glass and try to find them. Of course none of them were really doing anything. Except one and that was after we left it...it started to bang on the glass. We then headed to the other monkey house. 

We walked in and saw these cute little monkeys. They were jumping and swinging around and the kids loved watching them. Well, one of the smaller ones saw Miles and my daughter standing next to the class so it came to watch them. Then it would swing away and play and then jump at the glass. The kids loved watching him. 

The kids kept giving him a high five. 

Then when we walked out it was starting to rain. Miles quickly started to act up so we knew our trip was coming to a close. We were at the large cats and Miles started to have a meltdown. After that we ran to the last dome the desert dome. At this point everyone was coming into the buildings. So it was packed and Miles had enough of people. He clung to me and tried to hide under his hood the best he could. It was hard to keep him out of the sand and the water. We made it out without anything huge happening. Whew...

On our way back to the hotel we grabbed snack stuff for the hotel to tide us over to dinner. We knew Miles would be best to relax and not let anything or anyone near him. By the time we got to the hotel he was asleep. He woke up and relaxed in a bed snuggled tightly with me with his tablet to relax and let go of the world. 

That night we went to Culver's for dinner and he loved his meal. We just started to get him to eat corndogs and he gobbled it and his applesauce up and ate his ice cream. When we got to the hotel we relaxed and enjoyed our evening. Miles fell fast asleep in the bed after the routine. 

Vacation Day 1

Okay, so I am going to break down our schedule with a few comments and pictures of the places that we went.

Car Ride to Nebraska 3hrs long
   Breakfast was in the car. Since Miles has a small array of foods that he eats it's hard finding something at a fast food restraunt that he will eat for breakfast. We are lucky, that we finally found one thing that he enjoys eating and that is Hash browns from McDonalds. He loves them so much that he will eat the paper they come in. Other then him eating paper, our trip up was really good. He enjoyed playing with the toys that I packed for him for awhile and when he was bored of that he was able to play his educational games on his tablet. I think his Dad had more problems then he did with all the one ways in Omaha.

Omaha's Children Museum
   We enjoy our little children's museum here in Kansas but it was nothing compare to this one. It was loud and sensory overload for me. Miles had a blast. We first went into a room where there was slides and wheels. There was a pretend house and a water station. Also a little make-believe bank, grocery store, and hospital. Miles was all over the place and poor Dad kept up with him. While Mom went with sister. Grammy (my mom) took care of the youngest.

Next, room we went into was the art room where Miles painted a picture. It was interesting to see him relax while painting. We don't do a lot of painting at home and he usually does not like to color. But of course it didn't last long for him. 

The next room we went into was a ball room. Where it's crazy, balls are everywhere and you put them in all different things. Then they fall out of the ceiling at certain points. Thankfully, I found a video on youtube of this room to prepare him because it was crazy.

Then we went into a snow room where Miles freaked out because he was scared to climb a rock wall. Found out he not too much of a fan of heights. Who knew. We then headed up the stairs to a exhibit they have going on which is SUPER HEROES. Miles had a blast in this room. There was slides, climbing stuff, zip line, train, and another ride. He had a blast. He was also able to make a cape that he brought home. His dad followed him around and helped him try new things.

All in all he had a blast but we knew when it was time to go.

After the Children's Museum, we headed to a place to have lunch. Of course Miles, started to fall asleep before we arrived. He was done for the day and very sensitive to everything at this point. We went in side and I tried to find something he liked. I thought I would be safe getting him a yogurt and a grilled cheese. Of course he wanted none of it and was starting a meltdown and being a little crazy. He was climbing all over the booths and climbing up a wall pretty much. Finally, my husband thought hey we should get him a muffin. Miles loves muffins and perhaps he will calm down. So he took Miles to get a muffin at the counter. What they brought back was no a muffin but a cinnamon roll but he ate all of it and was calming down. We then headed back to the hotel where Miles took a short nap and had to use our famous calming down technique and that is to let him pull out and watch something on his tablet.

After we all relaxed, we headed out to the pool in our hotel. Miles loved swimming but doesn't know how to keep himself from drinking the pool so he upchucked all over Dad. Eep. We then headed back for showers and then dinner.

Miles fell asleep quickly since we made sure to do our whole bedtime routine with him even when out.

Day 1 was a huge success....

Comment below: Have you ever been to a Children's Museum?

Family Vacation

It seems like my family likes to take vacations when the time is about to change. This coming week is going to be rough on Miles. I already know and fully prepared for the meltdowns. It's going to start tomorrow for us. My husband won't be home tonight till after the kids go to bed. Which is normal and Miles expects it. My husband has school once a week and doesn't get home till late. But, tomorrow, it's my brother-in-laws's bachelor party. So, another night that my husband won't be home to help pick up the pieces that were made while he was at work.

I don't know who is not looking forward to it me or Miles. On Fridays, Miles often spends a lot of quality time with his dad on Friday nights playing video games in my room. It's a way for the to bond and Miles to just relax after a busy week. Then early on Saturday we are heading out on our vacation to stay in a hotel for a couple of nights. We are going to a Children's museum. Which can have a huge awesome time or can go down hill really quick. I have already emailed the museum for some ideas what they provide for a kid who is like Miles. No reason not to ask so that way I can be ahead on it. Then we will be going to the local zoo. Which is huge and should be lots of fun. Miles likes animals so it should be nice. Hopefully, it won't be too crowded and won't rain on us. Then we will visit the local temple to show the kids it (we are mormon). Then we will head home. We plan to swim in the pool each evening that way the kids just crash.

Our last vacation was great, until Miles woke up with a horrible cold. He kept us up all night long coughing and wheezing. Also...we had to wait for over an hr for food that should not have taken that long at a local place. So we are hoping that this vacation will be great. My mom is tagging along with us like she did last time. That way everyone can help with a kid or if need be two people can help with Miles.

So not only do we have our vacation, but when we return we are going to be smothered with my husband's family. His brother Jimmy and family (three kids) and Sister Johanna and family (two kids) are coming in town. Not sure if his brother Andy and family (three kids) are coming as well. Or if his older brother Tony and family (three kids on earth) are going to be stopping in. But everyone will be here and it gets crazy when they are all together. None of them really know what to do with Miles and his cousins don't either. So, Miles often gets sensory overload around them. But they are all in town because we will be going to the temple to see my brother-in-law Scotty and his soon to be wife Jenny get married for all eternity. Then we have the wedding reception. Our plan is that we will all go the reception then return home to get Miles in bed as close as to his bedtime as we can. My mom said she will stay so we can head back to the reception. It's going to be a busy week.

Not only that but I am going to be watching my niece Abbi during the week as her sitter is not watching kids that week and no school.

In other news. Miles has been in the oddest mood lately. Not sure if it's the rainy weather causing him to be like this or if this is just his current mood. He's been close to meltdowns a lot lately and it makes me sad. I feel for him because he doesn't want to be this way. He doesn't want to wear clothes at all which is different usually we can get him in some clothes. He doesn't want to be touched in the evening which is different for him. I just wish Children's Mercy calls soon to get him officially evaluated.  

My goal is to get him evaluated before his IEP meeting on April 8th. One step at a time is been my motto. One step at a time.

-Wish me Luck-

Kendra